I have 3 quotes from this letter I want to share. First I'll do a round-up of the letter in general. This letter we spoke about his family life, and his adolescent years. He let me know of the struggles he had and once again touched on his family. His openness still to this day blows me away. We got into the fact he "has" (now had) an appeal pending and he hopes to get the outcome he was looking for.
"Tinkerbell I was surprised by your writing, the flow of your words, questions and your easy going personality!"
This quote allowed me to go above and beyond to be open with Bagherra. It's always nice to have a confidence booster in a letter. His openness (which you will see more down the line) is a lot of the reason why we find ourselves where we are today. To read that line was like hearing that in no way was I a boring writer, nor did I ever leave him wondering about a certain subject. I left everything on the page. In order for any relationship to work there must be an openness. Never be afraid to ask questions, even if you are afraid of the answers. Never waste a breath wondering, simply ask. Whether it's friendship or a relationship you must always have a level of understanding. When two people meet there is always a basic line of questions you want to know. Writing an inmate makes no difference. I asked the basic questions, where are you from, favorite foods, favorite book and of course there was always a why at the end of the question. I wanted to know why because I wanted to understand him more than a picture on a website, I wanted to know him as a person, to develop a friendship. Every question he asked me I answered honestly. I may have left some things out because our level of trust was still growing.
"Most of the time we take things for granted and then we find ourselves dwelling on past mistakes and what if’s. It is true what they say! Experience is the most difficult of all teachers, for it gives the test first and only afterwards the lesson."
This was the point I realized how truly smart Bagherra was. This man has had his freedom taken from him and he knows what it is like to have everything taken from him, to sit in a lonely cell and remember what is was like when he was free. Many men in Prison dwell on their mistakes and try to learn from them. They truly value their freedom when they get out, however sometimes they are lead back down a wrong path. This is where woman and men like me who write come in. We give them a positive influence to be better in life, we encourage them to make goals and meet them. We are a constant presence in successful rehabilitation. Back to the quote, this quote is very true. Any convict knows while they commit the crime they know they are doing wrong, however they don't realize how wrong until they are thrown in jail for it. They learn a lesson so to speak. They can only go back and fix it whether it would be positive or negative. In life we always learn from our mistakes and grow from them, it's a shame a lot of inmates will not have a second chance to prove they can and WILL do better than what they were doing.
"After all what is a man in prison entitled to? My freedom comes in an envelope and my only way to caress a woman is through pen and paper."
This is a very personal quote. However Bagherra makes a good point. These men have no other means of knowing what is going on in someone else's life without a letter. YES, they get TVs and get the news, however there is no person attachment to the nightly news. I find myself side stepping from "new technology", such as my IPhone or my Kindle. He would have no idea what these things are, then I realize HEY HE HAS A TV WELCOME TO REALITY! I have never had to stop and explain something to him. So they are not fully out of touch with reality and they don't allow these things to over come them. Let's face it a IPhone 5 is a HOT buy in the state prison system (you truly do not want to know how they get these things in). Inmates are not completely out of touch with the world, so if you are worried about writing because these men are "crazy", they are not. Although at times they may have sexual frustration and it shows in their letters, you should always look past this. Us as humans are prone to want to mate, it's in out anatomy. Don't push away from them because of this. I truly appreciate Baherra's honesty when it comes to how he feels and how he expresses himself. His life is clear and he is in no way in denial about his circumstances. He's as real as it gets. I found myself a gem.
Now in this letter I got to understand Bagherra so much better than before. I realized there is more to him than his gang tattoo's and his good looking face. At the end of the day he's a person. A person who gives respect when respect is earned and a man who survives by any means nessisary. He may not be a saint nor does he claim to be, however he deserves to be treated as a human being. Today the word of the day is Understanding. Without understanding in this world we would have nothing. We would all judge a book by it's cover and forget about those who were there for us during dark times in our own lives. I've reached out to a man who has had everything taken from him and does not point the finger at the police, the man or the jury that helped convict him. He takes action for his mistakes and owns up to them. He does not allow for people to place pity on him for where he is, instead he adapted to his surounds and went on with life. Any inamte knows what it's like to have to adapt, to have to go hungry and to have no one. By reach out we allow them to realize we understand that they need someone, someone to speak to and someone to lean on. They may need this more then they understand themselves. A lot of people believe we should lock up men like this and throw away the key, or to give the police power to shoot any one with a gang tattoo on site. The people who believe this deserve to be treated like animals and to be shot on site. You have no understanding of the world nor how it works. You live in an illusion that the world would be a better place without gang bangers, cholo's, and OG's. When the fact is that we would be lost in a world that knows no understanding, that knows no compassion that knows no forgivness. Even without gang bangers, cholo's and OG's we'd still have crime, murders and war. To not give these men or woman second chances is to live in a world without understanding.
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