Okay this one will be quick, it was a small letter. The letter before this he asked me to tell him a deep dark secret and I told him something no one knows about me. It had him in shock to say the least, now it wasn't nasty nor sexual driven. We also talked about how for the last 6 years he had served his time. Every letter he wrote in the early days always left me wanting more. Okay onto the quotes... Again only 2.
"Tinkerbell from the beginning Ariel being only six months old, your petiteness and career choice were alluring to me. After hearing from you the second time I was certain that you were different from every other woman who had passed through my life. I instantly felt in love with your conversation! The ease in which you expressed your self and the will in your personality!!! Today I know that you’re much more than a pretty face! You’re a special woman with an amazing lovely daughter for which I can only be thankful for having the two of you in my life."
Changing a persons life is a huge part of letter writing. We often forget the reasons we write. These are people we can share everything with, someone who will never judge us and they are someone that can turn our worst days into our best days. Sometimes it only takes one line for us to change ourselves. We will never be judged by these inmates, they have made their own mistakes and know what it's like to just be judged on one mistake. Often times this one mistake will cost them many years lost. Patients is a huge thing for them in Prison, time doesn't move from them like it does out here. It's much different in their world. So we open our world to them. In a way we allow them to live through us. Now, that may sound crazy, but let me break it down. These inmates have had their freedom taken, they can only do things if someone says they can. By simply telling them how our day was or even something as small as our favorite TV show can change how they look at things. They have all day to think of things to say, where we are limited for time between a job, child, and life really. Many people think because inmate have all the time in the world to think of things to say they must be running a game of some sort. This is not true. Many inmates do hold jobs in prison, they work out, they listen to music, they watch TV, and the list could go on. A letter is an escape from their reality. They only know of what you tell them about yourself, they judge just on that. They often times analyze and know you better than they think. It's not a bad thing that they do this. They have something to look forward to, something to allow them to escape. I allowed Bagherra to let these feelings get to this point and I was basking in it so to speak. I'm not special in any way, except maybe to my family, but in his life I am. Everyone has a type and often times they find their type in pen pals, not every one but some. They are picky just like we are and they do find some woman more attractive to others. Just because they are in Prison doesn't mean they lower standards or fall for the first face they see.
"Tinkerbell I’m a gang member, a criminal yet I don’t consider myself a bad person. However I’m far from a great guy!!!! Love is complicated. It’s something that you can’t see yet you simply know that it holds true beauty. It’s a feeling that at times you can’t express but you simply feel it’s touch. Love is an experience, a journey, and even an illusion however it’s a beautiful part of growing up! It’s one of the many risk in life truly worth take! But it takes two to find true love, because love can also be harsh! It builds a person and as easily can also break them down… love is complicated…."
I asked Bagherra what love means to him, and this was his answer. Although he's been locked up awhile he still remembers what puppy love was, he is a man of many faces. He's a gang member, a criminal, a sweet and caring guy. He's also a man who allows his feelings to be known and isn't afraid of talking about love. He feels emotions and he doesn't deny this. He has sad eyes, but they are kind eyes, as in his appearance may make you think one thing, but his eyes are kind. This is what I knew when I saw him, I also met another woman who wanted to write to him and she thought the same thing. I was right, he is kind and very gentle. Although he holds a "tuff guy reputation" as he says, I know different. They are not robots nor are they the same, some will open up and some will not. The point I'm trying to make is Bagherra told me what love was to him, he didn't hold back. He has "no shame in his ways" and he's a man that knows how to hold a conversation from Football to Love. His letters show me how diverse he is and that any subject is open to him.
Many people don't want to admit that they write to convicts for fear of what everyone thinks of these inmates, but it's not what everyone else thinks, it's what you think. In the end that's all that matters. We don't hear enough success stories sure there is enough of us who write blogs (even then I'm not sure there is enough), but know when choosing a pen pal to choose someone you can picture yourself writing to. Don't think "oh he's cute let's write", that's a bad choice. Writing goes beyond looks cause truly you'll never get the chance to look at them, some way want to call you, which is your decision as well, some way want you to visit, but in reality all your doing is writing a letter. It won't kill you to write someone that is in need of mail and is a little sore on the eyes. I'm one to speak, however now if I look, that's where I find pen pals. Although I rarely write (I've written 3 so far, and only write 2 today, and only time will tell if the one that isn't Bagherra will stick around) to anyone, I do try to see if there is someone I can write to that may be in need of someone that needs some mail that doesn't have anyone. Site with pen pal ads ARE NOT DATING SITES, they are to bring some company to someone. Don't write with the wrong intentions, make sure you can make the commitment, and always be aware of what their intentions are. Most important thing is that you are aware of your own intentions before you begin writing, never go in blind. Blinding lights lead to awkward situations. I will remind you one more time these inmates are not games and neither are you. Don't settle for less than what you deserve.
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