A quick run down of the letter. It was a longer one about Bagherra coming off the website and of our family. We always speak about what we would want and how we vision out life to be if he was free today. A lot of our letters focus on Ariel's upbringing. I do go to Bagherra for advice and in most cases we reach a conclusion that we both can agree on. I have 2 quotes:
'Theres truly nothing to enjoy about prison but like everything in life once you're already living in a harsh situation and there is truly no way out of it you adapt and try to make the best of it!'
I asked Bagherra if he enjoys anything about prison. The answer was going to sleep. It's how he escapes his reality. I didn't post his full answer because it truly was personal, however the first bit of it gave me an insight on how he views his surroundings. I believe one of Bagherra's biggest strength is how he adapts, how he separates his life in there and his life out here. He never gets angry for no reason and never rambles on about his clear mistreatment. He never blames others or pries at someone's personal life. For the most part he has no trust for anyone, yet finds a way to live in a world with them and get along with them. Us out here will never understand that mentality. Sure we out a smile on for those we don't like at work, or wherever it may be, yet we truly do get to escape it. We go home and relax, put our guard down and think of other things. In prison there is no escape you are struck there with those people for long periods of time. This is why trust is so important to inmates, this is why you will never have a healthy friendship or relationship without it. Trust is very hard to gain, yet so easy to lose. Being open and sharing bad things isn't a weakness it's tell the person you trust them enough that they need to know these things. I rarely bring up others in my life in my letters, I rarely let Bagherra know when I'm having problems with someone out here and I'll explain why... In truth because I know my petty fights with stupid people are not as important as sharing my life with him. He has enough drama and enough bullshit that he doesn't need mine too. I do share my family problems with him and some other major things but never a fly on the wall, they are easily removed. Learn what is most important and let go of the things that are not. Always be an ear and a mouth, talk and listen. They need you as much as you need them.
'Im a simple and plain man... I am not mad at the world, nor do I hate or blame others for my situation and lifestyle! I assure you that I am not a violent person however I am a strong believer that a lion lives by being a lion and a mouse by being a mouse!'
This quote is about Bagherra's mentality in prison. I can not say that all inmates mentality are the same as his. Bagherra has matured since he's been in prison. He's grown into a man and matured in many ways. The justice system will never see it. I see it in the letters and I'm not a threat to him and his life, yet the people who surround him are a threat to his everyday. I'm not just talking about the other inmates. They say that prisons are where we keep the 'filth' of the world, some people truly believe that. However look at it this way... How would you act if you had 'guards' that belittled you, beat you and treated you like a dog? How would you feel if you've already been stripped of your freedom and now you're being stripped of humanity? We question all the actions of these 'violent' attacks in prison and wonder who in the world would act like a wild animal? They are treated like animals would be the simple answer, in truth that is the only answer. They are not allowed to be individuals, they can not stick out from the rest and chances are they all have a pack mentality. Bagherra is very gentle with me and he's always been honest about things. Sometimes too honest. When I speak with his family the love glows off of them and I can tell that he was not some 'violent gang banger' to them. He was a son, brother and uncle. He was caring and compassionate. His family means the world to him and all for good reason. He was raised in a loving home, they may of not had everything, but they made the best of it. Bagherra turned to the streets at a young age and had a lot of bad influences, he has never once blamed everyone around him for his own problems, he only blames himself for his own mistakes. This is all proof people change, they mature and they adapt. If given another chance I know Bagherra would keep his nose clean and do right with his life.
We all face challenges and we all make mistakes. The strong own up to it and grow stronger from it. The weak blame others and make the same mistakes again. At some point in our lives we get over being the victim and become a survivor. Some people think inmates are not normal and they all have too many flaws. This is not true. They are stripped of everything and not permitted to be individuals. They are violent because it not they will be pried upon in prison. Prisons are very violent places and dangerous at times, this is not an everyday occurrence, but bad things do happen in prison. That's reality. When we write we allow them to feel different, to be individuals and a place that they do not have to out a guard up. It's a good feeling to have someone to turn to at every corner. Bagherra knows if he wants he can rant and rave about prison, yet I will never bring it up. I will never ask him about it usually, however I did have questions and he answered them for me. I always wonder how he can just turn his sensitive side in and off and I'll probably never know! Yet I do know that he doesn't see everyone as a threat and he doesn't have to be some 'gangster' in the letters for me. He can just be himself I'm proud to say that I've seen Bagherra at his best and I've also seen him at his worst. I've never judged him on his past and I've always kept an open mind to his future. I keep it level with him and we balance out letters. Some are hard to read and others make my day. We talk about so many different things. If I've learnt one thing about Bagerra, it's the fact he is an individual, he cares for others and he had this 'bad ass' side to him. Remember why we all do this... It's not to see the violence in these inmates, it's to see the better side of them.
'Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved'
-Hellen Keller
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