We spoke about what would happen if his family stood against us, if they would not accept this type of relationship. We also touched on a bit of my family history and the reason I kept him hidden from my family for so long. There are many things and people that have always stood in our way, yet we always came out together in the end. I have 3 quotes from this letter:
'Hermosa
what we share is a strong will, a beautiful family, and a relationship full of
struggle but our struggle none the less and our happiness to fight for! '
Sometimes in life we must make choices, and possibly some sacrifices. In order to make a relationship work you have to be willing to fight. Nothing worth anything in the life will be easy. We are tested on a daily basis to make sure we stay strong and at the end of the day when you lay your head down to sleep you can smile knowing you did what made you happy. I always press on doing what makes you happy, and I will always stand by this. Some people may not understand your happiness, however it is not for them to understand, as it is your happiness and not theirs. Bagherra and I struggle with the distance and the fact he is in Prison. Somehow, someway we do not let it drag us down. We find a way to stay positive, even if things are looking in a different direction. Choose the road that leads to your happiness and fight for it. Only you will know you made the right decision.
'We found
something unique! We hold something special! Something that belongs only to us!
And the only reason this relationship brings so much joy regardless of the
distance and uncertainty is because we stand in this together!!'
A relationship is of two, it takes two people being 100 percent committed to one another to watch the relationship bloom. As of now Bagherra does not have a chance of Parole until 2052, and if he never gets parole he will die in Prison. This does not mean something will not change, there is always hope that his verdict will get over turned, or new laws will come out and change his sentence. These are the uncertainties we speak about. We do not know for sure he will ever come home. All we know is that there are still options and they may take a few more years to work themselves out. There is no guarantee in this life period. The only two certainties in life are life itself and death. Everything in between is what you choose to do with it, and remember not everything can be controlled or planned. Things happen in life and sometimes we do not understand why, however we do not let that define us as people. We push forward with a little thing called hope and we pray for the best. Nothing will ever work out perfectly, but you can make it perfect in your own eyes. Take the negative and turn it into a positive. Live life the way you see it and deal with it as it comes, all while having your goals and dreams pushing you forwards.
'Oh baby our
love means a new beginning it’s a roller coaster of emotions!!! It means a
smile a breath it means everything good in my life today! Our love means your
smile and your happiness even if it takes away mine…'
I asked Bagherra to define what our love meant to him. I've always known that if I decided all hope was lost, or if I realized I couldn't bare to be in a relationship like that Bagherra of all people would understand. I knew it would crush him, yet he would sacrifice his own happiness for my own. This is love in it's purest form. Being able to say to the person you love that if you are no longer their happiness they will let you go to see you happy is hard, yet it shows the level of love you truly have for a person. When you're in love always remember that there is another person involved, that means it is not only your feelings invested, but someone elses too. For Bagherra and I this was a new beginning, something we both had not felt in our lives, it was hard at first, then it became almost easy. We had love to push us forward and family to keep us together. Realizing why you love someone is one thing, however realizing that person makes you better a totally different topic all together. Hold onto what you love, yet never be too harsh. Always remember they make you better, they make you whole and regardless of where they are in the world they are yours to borrow, not to keep. So treat them right and they will be yours forever.
It may seem like all our letters are of confession of love, but they are not. When I told Bagherra about this blog he asked that I hide names, keep Ariel out of the entries for the most part, and never get too personal. We share everything, the ups and downs, the tears and laugh, the madness and the smiles. We have developed a bond that draws us to each other and we found happiness in one another. I can be myself around Bagherra and not have to worry about him thinking I'm crazy, or that I'm not good enough. We both have flaws and we accept it. In order to love someone, you must first find perfection in their imperfections. When in a relationship like this we already know their biggest imperfection is the fact the are locked up, yet we who choose this life, choose to see past this. Instead of letting it break us down, we embrace it. Find what makes you smile, cry, laugh, and get mad. These emotions are what carries us. When we feel we know we are still alive, whether the feelings are good or bad, they are still feelings. Embrace someones imperfections and in return they will do the same. Choose something that is worth fighting for and holding onto forever. Most important find someone that you can be open with and someone you can express yourself to.
'You come to find love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perrfectly'
-Unknown
I love that quote! x
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