This letter was very personal. Most of it I will keep to myself. However we spoke on some sensitive subjects. We've always made plan to if he was to come home. We also talk about family and friends, and what they think of our relationship. There was a Spanish lesson he prepared for me. I only have 1 quote...
'It will be
lonely nights, many frustrations and uncertainty!!! I once said that these type
of relationships are not for me because of the true challenge that it is, but
being with you and having our little one in my life I’ve discovered that the
good that the two of you have brought into my everyday out weighs by so much
all the stress and frustrations that our relationship may bring my way.'
This is why we kept holding on. The good out weighed the bad and at the end of the day we always have each other. We took a chance. We weighed the good and the bad. We talked it out, we let the dust settle and in the end we could only see one another, not everything that stood in our way. We never stopped to look at what is around us, we never had to. We always knew what a challenge this would be and how difficult and draining this relationship would be. However what we shared was special and real. Make sure when you enter into something like this you know exactly the bad and the good. The bad will make you stronger and the good will push you forward. If you can not do this, do not go along with it and play your games. Always remember there is another person that is in this with you. That person feels just as we do, they have a heart and a soul. Love is not a joke, nor a bargaining chip, it is something that is precious and fragile.
Bagherra and I have built a relationship out of nothing with so much standing in our way. We knew times would get tough. We knew we wouldn't have physical touch until he goes back to mainline. We also knew how we felt. Something inside of us something brought us together, The bond we built was strong, not because of our love, but because of what stood in our way. We defied the odds so the speak. Many relationships like this do not work because only half an effort is put into it or eventually someone pulls the plug because it is too lonely. When you get into this relationship always remember that if the other person involved has life, it means they have life, they may never come home. Ask yourself if you can see yourself doing this for life. Be aware of everything that is going to happen. Talk to others that were in your shoes at one point. Truly get a grasp of what this relationship will do to you, both mentally and physically. Also keep in mind their family will get involved and that can turn a puddle into an ocean. Never doubt yourself, but always be conscious of what is going on around you. Ignore the people that doubt you and embrace those who know what you are going through. Recently I've had a woman named Bex whom has given me some book titles to read about women in my same shoes and to be truthful I wish I would have read them a year ago before all this started. I didn't reach out to anyone until after we had begun our relationship, I truly didn't know what to expect. Now, to say things would be different would be a lie, but in a way the more knowledge I had the easier some of the hard times would have been. Never be afraid to ask for someone if you are hurting or just need a shoulder to lean on. There are so many people willing to help you see it all through.
A quick side note. You can check out Bex's blog @
http://writing2prisoners.blogspot.com/
This is why we kept holding on. The good out weighed the bad and at the end of the day we always have each other. We took a chance. We weighed the good and the bad. We talked it out, we let the dust settle and in the end we could only see one another, not everything that stood in our way. We never stopped to look at what is around us, we never had to. We always knew what a challenge this would be and how difficult and draining this relationship would be. However what we shared was special and real. Make sure when you enter into something like this you know exactly the bad and the good. The bad will make you stronger and the good will push you forward. If you can not do this, do not go along with it and play your games. Always remember there is another person that is in this with you. That person feels just as we do, they have a heart and a soul. Love is not a joke, nor a bargaining chip, it is something that is precious and fragile.
Bagherra and I have built a relationship out of nothing with so much standing in our way. We knew times would get tough. We knew we wouldn't have physical touch until he goes back to mainline. We also knew how we felt. Something inside of us something brought us together, The bond we built was strong, not because of our love, but because of what stood in our way. We defied the odds so the speak. Many relationships like this do not work because only half an effort is put into it or eventually someone pulls the plug because it is too lonely. When you get into this relationship always remember that if the other person involved has life, it means they have life, they may never come home. Ask yourself if you can see yourself doing this for life. Be aware of everything that is going to happen. Talk to others that were in your shoes at one point. Truly get a grasp of what this relationship will do to you, both mentally and physically. Also keep in mind their family will get involved and that can turn a puddle into an ocean. Never doubt yourself, but always be conscious of what is going on around you. Ignore the people that doubt you and embrace those who know what you are going through. Recently I've had a woman named Bex whom has given me some book titles to read about women in my same shoes and to be truthful I wish I would have read them a year ago before all this started. I didn't reach out to anyone until after we had begun our relationship, I truly didn't know what to expect. Now, to say things would be different would be a lie, but in a way the more knowledge I had the easier some of the hard times would have been. Never be afraid to ask for someone if you are hurting or just need a shoulder to lean on. There are so many people willing to help you see it all through.
A quick side note. You can check out Bex's blog @
http://writing2prisoners.blogspot.com/
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