In this letter we spoke about what would happen if the people he loves most did not accept our relationship. Ariel's birthday had just past so we spoke on that and how much she is going. We also touched on the way we were headed and how it would be selfish of him to even ask more from me. I have 3 quotes this entry.
"These two beauties are truly my everything… Baby I’m happy to know that you feel loved and that you’re enjoying this Mary Wells song. Truly there are many songs that can describe my feelings for you but what love had joined together is stronger than anything in life!!! Oh baby you are definitely the one for me."
It still amazes me how a couple of lines can completely lift my spirit and change my attitude, even when I look back and reread all these letters I find myself feeling the same way as if I just had read it for the first time. I listen to this song almost everyday and when it plays my first thought is of Bagherra. It's funny when you love someone the smallest thing reminds you of them. I truly believe that life works in the weirdest ways. I reached out to help someone, to be a shoulder to lean on and to brightens someones day. In the end I found that myself and so much more. I found someone I could truly depend on and someone who will tell no not what I want to hear, rather their own personal thoughts. When you love someone you never try to hide the truth and you never sugar coat the truth. You are like this because you know no matter how harsh the words the love you have for that person is the reason why you are honest in the first place.
Many people saw this relationship between Bagherra a road to no where. When they view upon what him and I shared they saw barriers and bars. However when I look at it I see and man and a woman fighting for their love. The hardest part of a Prison relationship is dealing with those who do not understand why we do this. Many people don't even bother to take the time to understand. They truly believe a convict is just a convict. If you decide to take this jump be prepared for other who do not understand what you are going through. There are many sites for support and there are many people who are doing the same thing as you and may be able to shed some insight on what to be prepared for. Being in a relationship like this is hard. Even holding a friendship is hard, after time you will begin to feel their pain and joy. There is a certain amount of emotion you build for these inmates. A friendship or a relationship with an inmate is just like having a friendship or relationship out here. Just because they are behind bars doesn't mean they are less fortunate or not worthy of 100 percent real friendship. My word the day today is friendship. 'In everyone life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.' Regardless of someones walk of life friendship is obtainable and regular. Never believe a inmate is not worthy of 100 percent of what you have to offer. It may surprise you how they show they care!
"These two beauties are truly my everything… Baby I’m happy to know that you feel loved and that you’re enjoying this Mary Wells song. Truly there are many songs that can describe my feelings for you but what love had joined together is stronger than anything in life!!! Oh baby you are definitely the one for me."
It still amazes me how a couple of lines can completely lift my spirit and change my attitude, even when I look back and reread all these letters I find myself feeling the same way as if I just had read it for the first time. I listen to this song almost everyday and when it plays my first thought is of Bagherra. It's funny when you love someone the smallest thing reminds you of them. I truly believe that life works in the weirdest ways. I reached out to help someone, to be a shoulder to lean on and to brightens someones day. In the end I found that myself and so much more. I found someone I could truly depend on and someone who will tell no not what I want to hear, rather their own personal thoughts. When you love someone you never try to hide the truth and you never sugar coat the truth. You are like this because you know no matter how harsh the words the love you have for that person is the reason why you are honest in the first place.
"My dear not
only have you opened your mail box! But also your home and heart to me! No
matter what ever happens between us you and Ariel will forever live within me
and forever hold my love. I honestly don’t believe that there is another woman
who can have such meaning in my life…"
The words that Bagherra says to me blows me away. He has the exact same meaning in my life. Regardless of the outcomes we've found ourselves in we both find peace in the fact we love one another. Having a relationship with someone in Prison has many ups and downs. We find ourselves clinging to letters and photos. I will always have a very special place in my heart for Bagherra. When in a relationship like this one wrong word in a sentence can cause an eruption. Always keep in mind that letters are difficult to read, so to speak, one word could have a different meaning to the inmate. When we are writing we are doing more than helping them, we are giving them a place to vent without judgment or reserves, something they do not find in Prison. Some inmates can not properly express themselves like we can, and other tend to over express. Always know your own comfort zones and be patient with men and women that have not been out here for awhile. When Bagherra talks to me like this it doesn't scare me away or make me uncomfortable. I love this man and words like these are his way of showing me how he feels.
"I’m beyond
happy to be the man who you’ve experienced this amazing feeling with, he who
makes you feel this way and your first love! Knowing that you do not intent to
run away from this is such a relief and exciting for me so great that I can’t
even begin to explain, all that I’m certain of it that I love you and Ariel
with all my heart, that I want you by my side and need you in my every day."
I've ran away from love my whole life and with Bagherra I couldn't run anywhere. I felt planted, something was different about him. Bagherra knew my fear of love and never pushed love on me. He was very patient with me and he wasn't expecting me to confess my feelings for him. Once we confessed our love things progressed between us and saying 'I love you' became an easy flow in our letters. Our letters have become more romantic and full of dreams we wish to live out together.Many people saw this relationship between Bagherra a road to no where. When they view upon what him and I shared they saw barriers and bars. However when I look at it I see and man and a woman fighting for their love. The hardest part of a Prison relationship is dealing with those who do not understand why we do this. Many people don't even bother to take the time to understand. They truly believe a convict is just a convict. If you decide to take this jump be prepared for other who do not understand what you are going through. There are many sites for support and there are many people who are doing the same thing as you and may be able to shed some insight on what to be prepared for. Being in a relationship like this is hard. Even holding a friendship is hard, after time you will begin to feel their pain and joy. There is a certain amount of emotion you build for these inmates. A friendship or a relationship with an inmate is just like having a friendship or relationship out here. Just because they are behind bars doesn't mean they are less fortunate or not worthy of 100 percent real friendship. My word the day today is friendship. 'In everyone life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.' Regardless of someones walk of life friendship is obtainable and regular. Never believe a inmate is not worthy of 100 percent of what you have to offer. It may surprise you how they show they care!
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