I wasn't going to share this letter because its truly personal. Bagherra and I share a life. A life not many understand, yet we talk everything through. This letter was about taking a step back, well on my part. Bagherra didn't know what taking a step back meant and that he was willing to wait, yet not 'slow down'. The relationship was solely in my hands. I only have one quote:
'All I ever wanted is a woman who doesn't pretend to be more than she truly is! All I ever wanted was a wonderful mother to my child and with you I don't worry I found the greatest mother to my daughter! All I ever wanted in a woman is somebody who stands true to her beliefs! Who's feminine, and a sexy yet girly. All I ever wanted is a woman who believes in me! Who gives me an opportunity beyond what everyone else may see! All I ever wanted was to fall in love beyond a touch a woman who can share with me more than her sexy ways! Who's no intimidated by the next girl! All I ever wanted was a woman capable of truly falling in love! All I ever wanted was pretty feet, sexy legs! And a heart! A heart of gold.'
The last few letters before this were full of love, just not like they usually are. Bagherra sent me some mixed signals, well maybe he wasn't, but that's how I took it. I thought he was pushing me away because of all the conflict I had over this relationship. He wasn't, he was simply trying to get me to make the decision by myself. To be clear headed and to truly think things through. I didn't ask Bagherra what he wanted in a woman, he told me these things to clarify where he stands on this relationship. Clarity is not a bad thing, sometimes it's not what you expect it to be. At times it's a little harsh and hurtful. Remember they are not trying to hurt you, they are simply telling you how they feel. Part of a relationship is knowing what you want and how to achieve it. We cannot guess what someone else thinks, yet we can pick up on signals. We can attempt to understand another person fully, yet without asking or them telling you for sure, you will never fully understand what another person is thinking. If you need clarity ask the person, don't assume anything. Once we mature we don't necessary have a 'type', but rather attributes we want in our loved ones.
I want to keep this post short today. The quote alone wasn't much to go on or to ramble about. However when we finally find what we are looking for we hold into it and we value it. Barriers become minor and fighting for what we want comes in. Love works however it feels like. All flaws become perfections and love lives in us forever. We tend to look past the mistakes and forgive much easier. Sometimes we allow people to take advantage of us because we can't see through it. Other times we neglect those we love because we are scared. We begin to focus in the bad and lose sight of the good. We become drones and no matter what great qualities our loved one has its never enough. Then every once in awhile someone comes around that scares us more than anything. Bagherra was that person for me. For years and years I blocked it out and I pushed it away. I rejected love and ran from it. Bagherra changed that in me. He slowly crept into my heart and planted a seed, a seed that will grow forever. Not all love is meant to be felt together, sometimes it's best felt apart. Never lose sight of what matters most because I know from experience once you do when you realize the reasons why you fell you'll be asking yourself how you could let it go. How you could just simply move forward with your life. People change and sometimes people grow apart. I don't fully understand why Bagherra was in my life, however I think it was to show me the good left in the world. That people still love just to love, not because they want something. Love is not a weapon, rather its a gem, a very rare one.
'Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.'
-Corinthians 13:4-8
I want to keep this post short today. The quote alone wasn't much to go on or to ramble about. However when we finally find what we are looking for we hold into it and we value it. Barriers become minor and fighting for what we want comes in. Love works however it feels like. All flaws become perfections and love lives in us forever. We tend to look past the mistakes and forgive much easier. Sometimes we allow people to take advantage of us because we can't see through it. Other times we neglect those we love because we are scared. We begin to focus in the bad and lose sight of the good. We become drones and no matter what great qualities our loved one has its never enough. Then every once in awhile someone comes around that scares us more than anything. Bagherra was that person for me. For years and years I blocked it out and I pushed it away. I rejected love and ran from it. Bagherra changed that in me. He slowly crept into my heart and planted a seed, a seed that will grow forever. Not all love is meant to be felt together, sometimes it's best felt apart. Never lose sight of what matters most because I know from experience once you do when you realize the reasons why you fell you'll be asking yourself how you could let it go. How you could just simply move forward with your life. People change and sometimes people grow apart. I don't fully understand why Bagherra was in my life, however I think it was to show me the good left in the world. That people still love just to love, not because they want something. Love is not a weapon, rather its a gem, a very rare one.
'Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.'
-Corinthians 13:4-8
No comments:
Post a Comment