Letter Breakdown (11/12/2011)

Every couple of days I will do a letter breakdown of all my favorite parts that I am willing to share. I will do more in the beginning to get caught up and then I will continue to do one when I receive something in the mail. To protect real names my man will be Bagherra, I will be Tinkerbell and our daughter Ariel. This was the first ever letter I received from him and I knew he was special instantly. The one quote I want to breakdown today is how he ended his letter. 

"Tinkerbell I hope that this is the beginning of something special – a way to share thoughts, life experiences, good times and bad through simply pen and paper… "

I chose this quote because little did I know it would be exactly that... Something special. I remember opening my mail box for 2 weeks and losing hope he wouldn't write! Then finally exactly 14 days after I sent off my first letter I received a reply. I danced at my mail box. I have no shame in my ways, we must all remember that. Needless to say as soon as I started reading I was captured by the flow of his words and how up front he was about himself. It amazed me at how much he allowed me to know of him in the first letter. He explained how he grew up, the size of his family and how important they were to him. It spoke so highly of him that he holds his family above all else, the love he has for them shone through the whole letter, as if it was the easiest thing to write in the whole letter. Yes, my man is a gang member and yes, he has done some fxcked up things, but this letter and this quote proves they feel just as we do. We are all subject to our environment and we all make our own choices. He made his at a young age and will possibly spend the rest of his life in prison for this. 

I must be honest here. When he wrote, nothing about his letter made him sound like a hardened criminal, like a gang member, or like a violent offender. It was like hearing from an old friend, someone you care for. Often we jump to conclusions and we judge people on appearance and past. Let's all face a hard truth, we all have something in our past we are not proud. Something that we wish we could lock up and hide forever. Us that realize our past is what made us whom we are today are strong enough to realize everyone eventually matures, grows and changes. Inmates are no different. Rocky paths, mistakes and truth are a part of life. Instead of judging we should embrace the fact that yes, our mistakes weren't putting a gun to someones head, BUT we know what it's like to have regrets, to learn and to grow from them. Too often many people are not willing to give a criminal a second chance. Someone out there gave you a second chance what's stopping you from doing the same? 

What Drew Me To Write

If you have not checked out www.writeaprisoner.com I encourage you to do so! This is how I met my man! I was browsing through ads and came across his. I wrote his address down and took note of wanting to write. I had concerns. Many of them. I had recently wrote to another prisoner and he was all about the game and collecting money. This in a way almost turned me away forever. However we must remember not all inmates are like this. Just because one will try to take advantage of you does not mean in any way they all will try these same games. My best advice is to go with your gut feeling. That's all we can trust. 

Moving forward, for two weeks I kept going back to his page and reading it over while still browsing other ads. My first reaction was wow he's cute... WOW he can write. His ad made me laugh, smile, and feel. He was honest about being a gang member and something about me drew me in. He had charm, charisma, values and a sense of humor. These are traits I have as well. Now I also picked him because we didn't share everything in common. I knew instantly his background and mine were completely different. We come from different walks of life. It's true what they say... "when you know, you know." Finally after much deliberation I chose to write. 

In my first letter I explained a bit about myself. My interests, the fact I have a child and that I'm a single mom. I am an accountant according to my education, however I want to go to school to help disadvantage youths find a path in life. I didn't go into too much detail, as it was the first letter and I didn't want to scare him away by putting all of my life out there. I was nervous I wouldn't receive something back. 2 weeks later I received my first letter and from there it was history.